Change Is Coming & Still Counting Sheep

So I’ve been thinking about how to evolve this blog. A daily summary doesn’t feel right anymore so bear with me whilst I figure out what’s going to be most useful to me whilst still delivery a bucket load of humour. (That right there is a joke, the fact that needs clarifying is probably a sign I should not say this is going to be funny!). I’m starting with my inner monologue whilst lying in bed desperately trying to get to sleep:


Things that go through my head when I’m struggling to sleep:

  • Did I definitely lock myself into the flat and bolt all the windows?
  • Was that noise outside my bedroom door one of the cats in distress or simply the cats playing?
  • Was that noise outside my window someone breaking into my car (which is behind metal gates and a brick wall)?
  • I really must email/ text/ call Person XYZ but it’s 0200 so I need to remember to do it at a sociable hour
  • How has the sudocreme not absorbed yet? – This will make sense in the next post!
  • Have I upset/ offended [insert name of anyone I’ve ever met in my whole life]?
  • Does [person from above thought] now hate me?
  • I really want to do all 42 items on my cleaning check list RIGHT NOW – but I have downstairs neighbours so instead I’ll lie here stressing about it.
  • What if Cat C has learnt to turn the lock in the door and lets himself out? (Cat P seems less interested in escaping having learnt she’s onto a good deal with fresh organic food everyday and endless belly rubs)
  • Oh my gosh, why am I such a failure?
  • Let’s go on social media and see how perfect everyone else’s life is
  • Oh shit, when did I let this get so bad?
  • I need to lose 54lbs, I wonder if that’s achievable over night by doing lots of sit ups?
  • No one will notice if I’m gone. I mean, it’ll take days for anyone to even realise!
  • I can’t keep an orchid alive and yet somehow I’ve managed to keep going and look after 2 cats along the way. How?!
  • I wish those drunk people outside would stop having fun. It’s lonely up here.
  • When’s the next fast train?
  • How am I ever going to get everything done?
  • I don’t like the silence, I wish the drunk people would walk past again, then I’d feel less alone.
  • If I fall asleep now, I’ll have 5 1/2 hours sleep
  • I’ve really gone and royally f’d my life up
  • *ouch* must cut toenails
  • Why, when I’ve actually brushed my teeth twice today, does my mouth taste like a small animal has crawled into it and defecated?
  • *sound of something falling in the lounge* what have the blooming cats broken now?
  • Oh, please God, I don’t even know what I’m asking for but please help me
  • Is that noise in my head or is there a high pitches ringing outside (convinced I have tinnitus. I don’t, but if you listen carefully, you’ll convince yourself you do!)
  • Is that a fox or a burglar trying to climb up the building (I live on 2 floor and there is a basement flat so highly unlikely anyone would target mine.
  • I’m lonely
  • Everyone seems to have their shit sorted except me. How? How have they mastered is and all I’ve done is screw it up?
  • I wonder how much I’d get if I sold a kidney? Would it cover my debt?
  • My eyes physically hurt.
  • If I fall asleep now, I’ll get 5 hours sleep
  • Do snacks consumed whilst the rest of the country is sleeping still count towards Ines daily calorie intake?!
  • I want to cry but I don’t know why
  • Oh, ok, I am crying
  • Can’t. Stop. Crying
  • I wonder what it would be like to walk around a 24 hr supermarket
  • No, can’t be bothered to move from the bed. 24 hour supermarkets will have to remain a mystery
  • Still. Can’t. Stop. Crying.
  • Oh, bugger, I’ve missed a bit whilst shaving, great now I’ve got a 1 inch x 2 inch patch of hair on the back of my leg.
  • If I fall asleep now, I’ll get 4 1/2 hours sleep
  • Let’s make really big important life decisions right now at 0300 whilst crying. It’s definitely the most sensible time to do it
  • Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…(it’s June!)


Cat C having no problems sleeping at all!



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