I’ve been working on a post for a while but, at times, it feels a bit overwhelming so, whilst it remains under construction, I’m popping by to say hi. I’m ok-ish, I’m binge free still, I’m working my butt off to keep self care and leaving the house on track but I still feel cripplingly insecure at times. To me, that’s my biggest challenge that still needs to be tackled.
Do people like me? Am I enough for them to be friends with me? Have I f’d up my career? Sometimes these thoughts are fleeting, sometimes they crowd my head like a shouting match. I’m tired following a very social weekend and so, I know my ability to think straight is at a low. I need to get into bed and sleep. It will help. Also, having dropped a friend off and not properly said bye, nor finished a conversation about when am I going to go back to work, I feel yet again at a complete loss in what to say. Instead of breathing and working through the emotions, I scrabbled for words, missed a left turn and had to chuck her out on a busy road! So, totally nailed handling that one then. There are some positives though. I came home, open a pack of biscuits, had 3 then stopped… as in, put the lid back on the tin and stopped… this is progress (and I’m feeling rather smug about it). Go me!
A proper post will follow but who knows when! This isn’t to build suspense, but a genuine lack of knowledge as to when I’ll be able to commit my emotions to laptop!